I’ve got a lot to make up for.
I started this blog back at the beginning of 2017, thinking I’d be able to put my all into it. I wanted to use this as a space where I could talk about anything and everything I wanted. That didn’t happen. In short, 2017 was a busy year, and at times an awful one. 2018 hasn’t really started any better, either. Lots of good things have happened, but I’d be lying if I was at my most stable or confident.
Last year I suffered two breakdowns, and was probably at my lowest. The final few months of the year got better because I managed to make time for myself and experience things I’ve dreamed of, but from the start of this year I’ve already had to deal with another two breakdowns. I’ve lost my spark somewhere over the last twelve months, but I’m tired of not doing anything about it anymore.
I don’t want to promise anything, but I really do want to put the time and the effort into this blog. It’ll help me flesh out my thoughts, voice my passions and regain my confidence. I put a lot of pressure on myself sometimes, but I often forget about the things that I love doing, and when I get around to them, they feel like a chore.
I’ll make sure this blog isn’t a chore, and not only that, I’ll make sure I keep everyone updated. I have some nice things in line that might help people get to know me a little better, but also allow me to express myself on stuff I don’t get to do as often.
So, I’m really sorry for anyone who thought I’d be in a regular rhythm by 2018. I’ve let you down, and I’ve let me down, but I’m not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. I’m going to use this space to beat down these awful feelings and emotions, and get better at what I do.